It Hurts to be in Love

by Mars

Quick Disclaimer: Voltron is the property of WEP.

Well, I contradicted myself again…-_-; I swore I’d never write Sven/Lance yaoi…I even told the local yaoi-queen Ami not to write any…I love the Sven/Romelle thing…as for the Sven/Lance thing….no. Nononono. But then I got to thinking (as I hopelessly searched for some decent non-Keith fanfiction) the dangerous words What If? What if…it wasn’t QUITE yaoi…kinda one-sided crush-thingy that Sven was not a part of? Then it wouldn’t exactly be classified as Sven/Lance, would it? Oi, I’m going to shut up now.

Uh, it’s a songfic. They’re contagious, you know. The song excerpts are, of course, not mine, they rather belong to Gene Pitney and are used in his song, “It Hurts to be in Love”. I had to change some “shes” to “hes”, so the song would go somewhat with the fic…last time I checked, Sven was a he. There. Let’s get on with this thing…

//It hurts to be in love
When the only one you love
Turns out to be someone
Who’s not in love with you//

If I were on Earth, the date would be April 16. On Arus it would be the fourtieth day of La-mu. Here on Pollux, it’s the ides of Sheka. Call it what you will, it all boils down to one thing: Sven’s wedding day. The former pilot of Blue Lion was tying the knot with his lady-love, Princess Romelle, and he had asked me to be his best man. It was an innocent request, he did think of me as his best friend.

Sven, ol’ buddy, you are so dumb. But that’s all part of your charm, probably one of the many aspects of you that attracted Romelle.

You may be dumb, but it’s nothing compared to me.

I’m not quite sure how this happened. Maybe that day at the Academy when Keith turned off the hot water while you were in the shower and you chased him through the dorm in that towel. Or maybe it was the way you could just lean against a wall during a crisis and look totally at peace while the world around you was coming apart. Or perhaps it was that day you saved me from the witch and nearly got yourself killed...I don’t suppose it matters how. You always told me to reflect on the past, but never lose myself in it. Always one with some sort of philosophical comment…

Somehow, everyone knows about this. Keith knows, Pidge knows, Allura knows, Hunk even knows…or at least I think he does. When your request of me came in, Allura volunteered to send me out on a mission and have Keith take my place so I wouldn’t have to watch you…marry HER. I almost agreed. Almost. But the pilot of Red Lion couldn’t be a coward. I accepted your request.

That’s how I wound up over here, in your dressing room, watching you try to figure out the mysteries of a Polluxian shirt, waiting for you to marry the one you loved and break my heart.

//It hurts to love a soul
When deep down inside you know
He will never want you no matter what you do//

“You would think, after all this time, the Polluxians would have discovered the secret of the button,” you grumbled as you tried to untangle the lacings that held the thing together.

“Or one would think that a Space Explorer who could take on the Doom Empire would be smart enough to figure out how to work a simple shirt,” I said with my usual smirk as I leaned against the wall.

You rolled your eyes and tossed the shirt to me. “You think it’s so easy, YOU untangle it.”

I caught the wad of fabric and my throat went dry. The thing was caught in a hopeless tangle that couldn’t be undone with pruning shears. “Well, I’m sure Romelle wouldn’t mind if you arrived sans shirt.” I know I wouldn’t…whoa, down boy.

You sighed heavily and turned to the walk-in closet behind you. I followed.

//And so you cry a little bit
To be in love
Oh, you die a little bit
To be in love
Day and night
Night and day
It hurts to be in love this way//

“This one?” I suggest, holding up a nice frock for your approval. You wrinkled your nose at me.

“You moron…that’s Romelle’s.”

“Oh.” I quickly put what I now recognized as a short-skirted one piece…uh, something back on the rack. I began my search anew. “I thought Allura’s wardrobe was extensive!”

You chuckled from somewhere behind me. “Could be worse. Everything could be pink.”

“I get enough of that at home!” I immerse myself in a rack of clothing, trying to find a suitable shirt, but all I can find are frilly one-pieces and togas. You leaned in beside me, probably to help with the search. It was a mistake. So was what happened after that.

//How long can I exist
Wanting lips I’ve never kissed?
He gets all his kisses
From somebody else//

You were so close to me, I could smell that musky cologne of yours. It was making me giddy and dizzy, and besides, you know me! I can’t resist an opportunity of any sort! Remember the Academy days?

I knew I would probably never be that close to you again. I couldn’t help it! Besides, it wasn’t like we did anything naughty….

I leaned over and kissed your cheek.

I heard glass shatter somewhere.

You’re eyes went wide and you turned to me, slowly raising a hand to where I had kissed you. “Lance…” you murmered, you’re dark eyes making contact with mine.

I ruined your wedding day. I wanted to throw up from guilt. But, instead, as usual, I took the coward’s way out and averted my face.

//He thinks I’m just a friend
Though it hurts, I must pretend
The only way to keep him
Is keep it to myself//

My God…I’ve screwed myself! My best friend…

I didn’t realize I had been crying until I felt your fingers brushing the tears from my cheeks. I swatted at your hand, but you blocked and enclosed it in yours. “Lance,” you repeated. I still didn’t turn. A bit more forcefully you said, “Lance.”

I hesitantly looked over and at the concerned expression on your face, I began to cry even harder. You wrapped your arms around me and enveloped me in a bear hug as I sobbed into your bare shoulder. “I’m sorry, Sven…I’m so sorry….”

You rocked me back and forth as though I were a small infant, stroking my hair, and making those little hush-hush noises people make to calm down babies. “How long has this been going on?” you whispered into my ear.

“I dunno….a while,” I answered with a miserable sniffle.

“You should have told me…if I had known…I would never have asked you…”

I looked up into your face, and saw you too on the verge of tears. Perfect. Once again, I had managed to shatter your life. Why do you still proclaim to be my friend, when all I’ve brought to you are ro-beasts and tower falls and now a torn heart? “I’m sorry…” I said again.

//And so I cry a little bit
To be in love
Oh, I die a little bit
To be in love
Day and night
Night and day//

“Don’t be,” you said. “It’s not your fault.”

Oh, but it is…

“I wish it could have been different…” I blubbered through my tears as I struggled to pull myself out of your grasp. It’s nice to be held in your arms, but your arms were not meant for me.

You let me go, a great sorrow in those beautiful dark orbs. “Me too…”

//It hurts to be in love this way..//

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