Things that the Voltron Cast Would Never Say

Original idea by Phoenix

Contributions are color-coded as follows:

The Original Text from Phoenix

Additions by kaie

Additions by Todesengel

Additions by Zoe



Whee! Go Black Lion, Go!! (think Speed Racer theme song)

Lance: I should dose your NyQuil more often.

Keith: No, you should not! *clutches bottle possessively*

Why do I have to save the princess? Canít someone else do it for a change?

Keith: Come to think of it ... who cares about Arus? I'm sick of Voltron. See ya later, I'm outta here!

Keith: Yes, I'm off to further my carrer as a male stripper! *starts handing out business cards* You'll see me at Big Gay Al's Big Gay Strip Bar.

How do you use this gun?

Little bunny fufu, hopping through the forest.....

kaie: *whips out a pink bunny suit* Heeeeeeeeere Keith ....

chibi neko Keith: NO WAY! *ffffffffft* *runs*

Ah, to hell with this. Let's form the Blazing Sword NOW and annihilate the robeast right off the bat.

Training? Nah. I'm sleeping in today.



Girls are SCARY!! BRRRRR!!!


I am SO sorry for my reckless behavior. For now on, I will follow orders EXACTLY.

Keith: Maybe if he were being really sarcastic?

Lance: Dream ON, buster.

Keith: Hey, can't I indulge in a few fantasies?

Lance: *cracks whip* YOU are the only one going subservient in our fantasies, got it?

Keith: Yes, Master.

Oooh! Fire! Hehehehehehe.

You know, maybe I AM being too paranoid.

Maybe I should wait for backup.

You're right, Hunk.



GROAN! Please no more FOOD! I am stuffed!

Hunk: Besides, if I eat another bite, my corset will burst.

VF: *collective sweat drop*

Hunk: What, can't _I_ aspire for a part in the "Rocky Horror Picture Show" too?

Lance: Yeah, maybe as Meatloaf's character.

Hunk: Mmm. Meatloaf.

What does a screw driver look like?

Pidge: *leers* C'mere, I'll show ya.

kaie: *whimper* He was such a good little boy ... so innocent ... what went wrong??

Hunk: *smirk* I don't see anything wrong.

kaie: Ack! Not both of you!

Here, let me explain Einsteinís theory of relativity...

Iím a little tea pot, short and stout. Here is my handle, and here is my spout.

Pidge: And if you tug on the spout, something will come out.

Ketih:...@_@ [stunned silence]

Pidge: What?

You're right, Lance. (Come to think of it, this could apply to just about anyone, couldn't it? ^^)



I HATE MICE!! DIE ya varmints!!

Hunk: Remember, if you build a better mouse trap, they'll just build a better mouse.

Pidge: Not if I wipe them out first.

Here kitty, kitty. I have a nice fat space mouse for you.

What is 2 + 2?

Keith: Five!

I am so buff! Check out these muscles!



Me kiss Keith?!?! EWWWWW!!!

Keith: Good.

Allura: I get the feeling I've just been insulted ...

Keith: Do you remember what list we're on?

Allura: Oh. Right. Say, does that mean I get to chase after Romelle now?

Keith: Wait a minute, isn't she your cousin? Isn't that ... incest?

Allura: So what? It's not like we could get each other pregnant and have inbreeding problems. Or did you think I'd actually take up with Nanny or Haggar?

Keith: *cringe* Never mind.

Romelle: But I'm with Sven...[Sven parades past in a fishnet stockings] Never mind. So, when can we start?

NO!! I refuse to wear PINK!!

Allura: Yes! From now on, it's purple! Let's repaint the lions.

I donít care if you are the ghost of my father. I am NOT going out into the forest in my PJs in the middle of the fricken night!!

Keith: You go girl!

Lance: You go girl?

Keith:...Too much pop culture.

I think I would look great in a crew cut. What do you think?

You know, Lotor IS kinda cute...



OOOHH! Look at all of the purty pink bunnies!

kaie: *drags out chibi neko Keith stuffed in a pink bunny suit* Yeah, look at them!

chibi neko Keith in pink bunny suit: MEOW!

Sven: *flicks his switch blade* Would you like some ... help ... getting out of that suit?

Keith: KAIE! Quit it with the bondage scenarios!

I do NOT have a Swedish accent! It is just the cotton in my mouth from my visit with the dentist.

Why is my uniform black? I prefer pink.

Sven: Princess, let's switch uniforms.

WHA! The Blue Lion scares me! WHA!

Sven: I've decided to give up the life of war for one of secular abstinance.*smiles beatifically* No more axe-wielding personality form me!

Keith: Right.

Sven: By the way, did I ever tell you about the Rabbi, the Priest and the Lawyer who were forced to spend a night in a barn?

Lance: *sweatdrops* Sven making jokes. Yup, we've _definately_ crossed over into another dimension.

Revenge on Lotor? That'd be pointless.



I agree with you Princess. You should fly the Blue Lion. Your safety is not all that important.

Coran: Meanwhile, I will scheme to take over the throne when your lack of piloting skills and common sense send you to an early grave! Mwahahahahaha!

Keith: *sniffles* Hey guys? *sneezes, blows nose* Where'd you put my NyQuil?

Lance: *looks at Keith* Um ... *looks at Coran* Uh, gotta go! *runs*

Keith: Huh? *looks at Coran* .... * looks at Coran some more* ..... *sweatdrop* I think I better go back to bed ...

Hey, Princess. If you want a REAL man, come and see me in my chambers.

Iím too sexy for this job....too sexy......

Coran: I'm too sexy for my pants, too sexy for my pants--

Keith: Okay, we're _stopping_ now.

Hey everybody check out my nose ring!



Princess! Dresses are NOT suitable for your station! Overalls are more the style for princesses these days.

Nanny: Princess, you should wear a leather mini skirt to the ball. It'll be perfect!

Stop acting like gentlemen and act your age!

Letís do the macarena!!

We are going swimming? Let me put on my bikini!

Lance: Ahh! My eyes! My eyes!

Oh, I could never impose on your wishes, Princess. Do whatever you feel is right.



Now that I have you in my clutches Allura, I have a question....who does your hair?

I donít want to do death and destruction. I want to sing and dance in the wild flowers.

Lotor: Especially the bright red poppies ...

I LOVE my hair! It is so soft and silky and white.

WHA! Get that knife away from me! Itís sharp!

Lotor: Allura? Allura who?



I am tired of being the bad guy. For now on, I will be good.

What?!?! The slaves are hungry? Let them eat cake.

Zarcon: Or Ding Dongs.

I am a smurf!!

Zarcon: Darn straight! And that's PAPA Smurf to you!

Lotor: *sweatdrop*

Zarcon: Who's your Daddy?

Lotor: 0.0! *faints*

Alright!! The La Bamba!

You know, these robeasts NEVER work. I think I'll try a new tactic.



My robeast did WHAT!!! I am SO sorry! Here, let me use my magic to rebuild your village.

This robe does nothing for my figure.

Bless you my child for all your help.

I should be a super model.

Haggar: Cats? I hate cats. Get me a castle full of mice!

Haggar: I'm feeling in a happy mood. The next robeast is going to be a big, fluffy bunny. Who throws flowers at everything. Lots and lots of flowers...

*ACHOO!!* Damned cat allergy.



Can't you people do ANYthing for yourselves?


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