A Voltron Christmas Carol

Chapter 6: Silent Night

Morning broke over the desolate surface of planet Doom as it did every day. The spaceport was quiet, the weapons long since charged and the warriors too slow to scramble for sanity ready for the grim very non-Christmas-like task facing them.

Imagine their surprise when a young red-headed boy came limping out with the aid of a tiny crutch onto the runway leading a bastion of slaves bearing turkeys and ducks and whatever else it is that all you carnivorous people eat on Christmas day. Oh, and chocolate. Chocolate in every conceivable presentation. It was lovely.

Yes, children, it seems Zarkon had seen the light. There were no further attacks on Arus. Peace and harmony suddenly ruled the universe. Lotor and Allura eventually were married, and Cossack found a bright shiny new Voltron toy under his Christmas tree. The rebellious planet Kringel remained intact, and Rudolph- and his shiny nose- became the new symbols of the Empire, Doom being such a tacky unpleasant name. The guards on duty over the fires even kept their lives, and were given a raise for being true to their hearts.

It was a beautiful time to be alive.

Right.

Let's go over what really happened, shall we?

Zarkon woke the next morning bright and early to one whopper of a dilemma. The attack on Arus would be successful, but apparently he would also die. This was not what he was ready to file under "acceptable losses". In retrospect, he decided to cancel the attack and begin an immediate last-ditch program to save his son from turning into a major "Sound of Music" style wussie. All Lotor's action figures and other toys were confiscated and given to Cossack, who screamed and danced around in delight at his presents.

Even the most liberal observer will have to agree that it was much too late to save Cossack.

Lotor spent weeks locked in his room with his favorite harem girls and boys having a good long sulk, but finally decided to go through with his father's reprogramming. After all, if he just gritted his teeth and got it over with maybe he'd even be able to make it to the "A Chorus Line" auditions on planet Maro by next summer.

The jury's still out on that one.

Planet Kringel, warned by a quick last minute message from an odd jolly old fellow in a red suit, backed out of the attack on Doom at the last minute. They're currently on probation in the Doom Empire and aren't allowed to leave the galaxy on weekends, even if there's a really happening party just a short warp hop away. But that's okay. They still have lots of eggnog and contrary to popular belief, those flying reindeer even let them join in all the reindeer games.

Christmas was celebrated on Planet Arus as usual, with none of them the wiser about the turn in their luck. There was a bit of murmuring about odd dreams the night before, but since the murmurers tended to complain a heck of lot anyway they were more or less ignored. Bandor was given a brand new electric wheelchair with lion-shaped controls to ease his progress around his own planet. He immediately jumped up and yelled "God bless them, every one!" again, and was nearly beaten to death with his former crutch before everyone gained control of themselves.

It's not like anyone would particularly miss Bandor anyway, so this went more or less unnoticed in the general hectic activity of the day.

The fuzzy pink bunnies had a lovely Christmas on their beautiful pristine world left devoid of any human habititation by the halting of the Doom attack. This explains why the adjectives "beautiful" and "pristine" can actually apply.

And everyone lived. Maybe not happily, but at least that's something.