Okay, here's another attempt at a songfic, written in a more prose format. And proof positive that Todesengel _can_ write happy stories. Not very well, but he can write them.

The lyrics to the song "You're a God" belong to Vertical Horizon

Lance had found the old garden by accident; in fact, the only reason he knew about it was because he had landed in it when he fell out an apple tree while trying to reach a particularly luscious fruit. Still, it had been a lucky accident and the wonderfully chaotic garden quickly became his sanctuary. It had been an herb garden, before the iron gate had rusted shut, and the groundskeepers had forgotten to tend it, and the heady aromas of thyme and Rosemary cast a drowsy spell over him every time he entered.

Usually, coming to the garden calmed him, eased his weary soul and let the tension drain from his body. It was in the garden that he made peace with his life, with the world around him; it was in the garden that his sanity was restored.

But not today.

There was no peace to be found in the garden today, the day that he needed peace the most.

Eyes focused on the slowly darkening sky, body cushioned by the soft heather, Lance quietly whispered, "Lord, what's wrong with me?"

I've go to be honest
I think you know
We're covered in lies and that's OK

Things hadn't always been this...awkward between them. Once upon a time, there hadn't been an underlying sense of...anticipation. Of wanting something more. There had never been a need for an unspoken agreement, a need to let the glib lies slip through their minds and past their lips; excuses and convoluted reasons for wanting to touch, to hug, to let a warm hand linger.

There's somewhere beyond this I know
but I hope I can find the words to say

"You had to do it, didn't you. You had to fall for him. Why couldn't I have fallen for some nice girl like mother always wanted? Why Keith?"

Sighing, disgusted with himself, Lance rolled over, burying his face in the grasses' cool caresses. He wanted so badly to let the lies die, to let the illusions fade away and actually be able to say that they were more than friends, more than comrades. He knew that there was something more than what they were.

At least he thought there was. After tonight, though, he wasn't so sure. He wasn't sure if there were anything between them after all.

Never again no
No never again

The image of Allura kissing Keith after dinner came unbidden into Lance's mind, and he felt his throat constrict in pain once more.

Maybe this was the end of the stolen glances, the lingering hands. Maybe this was even the end of their friendship.

'Cause you're a god
And I am not
And I just thought
That you would know
You're a god
And I am not
And I just thought
I'd let you go.

"How could you do it? How? I thought that this wasn't so one sided. I thought that you felt the same way I did." Small, salty tears dripped into the heather's grey petals, stealing through closed eyes. "If I was smart, I'd just stop this now. I'd apply for a transfer, and go as far away from him--from _them_--as possible."

But I've been unable
To put you down
I'm still learning things I ought to know by now
It's under the table so
I need something more to show somehow

But he couldn't.

He couldn't just walk away, couldn't just kill what he felt. It was too wonderful, too precious. He hadn't felt this...warm in so long. He hadn't ever been so entranced by someone, hadn't ever wanted to see what new discoveries the next day would bring, to memorize every nuance, every part, of _anyone_ this badly before.

Perhaps it was just the mystery, the covert and subtle feelings that wove between them, floated them on this euphoric cloud. Perhaps it was just the nagging feeling that this was more than just infatuation, more than just a phase that perhaps this could become...love?

Never again no
No never again

Whatever it was, he wasn't about to let it go so easily. He wasn't going to give in, to let Allura win, without one hell of a fight.

"Good thing I've never been called smart."

'Cause you're a god
And I am not
And I just thought
That you would know
You're a god
And I am not
And I just thought
I'd let you go.

So many opportunities wasted. So many chances lost, destroyed by his fear. But not this one. He cared too much to just let this one go. He cared too much to give in without a fight.

I've go to be honest
I think you know

"Lance?"

The soft voice startled him, made him scramble up in surprise. He looked at the man who stood so close beside him; so close that he had to resist the urge to reach out and caresses his cheek. "Keith! What are you doing here?"

We're covered in lies and that's OK

"I...I thought I heard something..." Keith looked away, a wave of black hair falling over his face, voice steady to hide the meanings behind his words. "Are you okay?"

Lance nodded jerkily, trying desperately not to give away just how confused he was. Seeing Keith now, seeing his body bathed in starlight, face lost in shadow, was more than he could bear. But was he ready to say anything yet? Was he ready to jeopardize their friendship for a few stolen glances? "IÕm fine. You don't have to worry about me."

There's somewhere beyond this I know
but I hope I can find the words to say

"But I want to."

Lance looked at Keith in bewilderment, the soft words almost lost in the night air. Hesitantly, carefully, Lance reached out, touched Keith's shoulder, pulled him around until they stood face to face.

"Why?"

"Because...because I care for you. Because...because I feel...because I just...do. I want to worry about you, and care for you and touch you without having to lie about why I want to."

Silently, lovingly, Lance pulled Keith to him, pulled him close enough to bury his face in the long dark hair. He felt Keith's arms tentatively reach up around him, hold him in the silvery quiet of the drowsy, herb filled garden; his garden no longer.

He would never come here alone again.

Never again no
No never again