Scene 1: Lotor kneeling in front of an R2-D2 cut out prop. His hair is in the Princess Leia buns.
Lotor: Help me Haggi-wan kenobi, you're my only hope. [Pause] No. I refuse to do this. I'm a _Prince_ God damn it! Not some cinnabun wearing hussy! [Kicks the R2-D2 cut out] And can't we afford some decent props?
Director: But Lotor, Sweetheart, you're prefect for the roll!
Lotor: I don't care. I look bloated in this. [Swirls the cape around his self] I'll be in my trailer if you need me.
Director: (sighs) Actors.
Scene 2: At the palace of Hunk the hutt-
Hunk: All right, already! Enough with the fat jokes!
Allura: I have to be _his_ slave? Why can't I be Keith'
s? Lance (from wall where he's frozen in carbonate): Um, could we possibly hurry up? I _really_ have to take a leak.
Scene 3: In Obi-Wan Kenobi's house.
Zarkon (as Obi-Wan Kenobi): Remember, young one. You can fool most of the people some of the time, some of the people most of the time, but you can kill all of the people all of the time.
Director: Cut! Cut! That's not in the script!
Zarkon: But it just sounds so good.
Scene 4: Inside the Millennium Falcon. Sven (Obi-Wan Kenobi) is sitting impatiently at the table.
Sven: Well? Where are they?
Director: I don't know!
[Keith (Luke Skywalker) and Lance (Han Solo) rush in, looking flushed and wearing each other's shirts]
Keith: Sorry. We took a wrong turn.
Sven (with raised eyebrow): So I see.
Director: Make up!
Scene 5: In the rebel infirmary at Hoth. Lance is on the bed, Keith is standing at the head and the Director is talking to Allura.
Director: Now in this scene, you're supposed to kiss Lance as passionately as possible, to prove to Keith that he doesn't know you as well as he thinks he does.
Allura: But it's Lance! How am I supposed to kiss Lance passionately?
Keith: Like this. [Bends down and kisses Lance passionately]
Director: Yeah, like that. Okay, Allura, your turn. [Keith and Lance continue to kiss. It is obvious that the kissing is going to lead to something a little more interesting] Keith? Lance? You guys can stop kissing now.
[Lance disengages from Keith to glare at the Director]
Lance: Do you _mind_? We'd like to have a little privacy here!
Scene 6: The Ewok village on Endor.
Pidge: Why do _I_ have to be an Ewok?
Nanny: (grumbling) At least you're not Chewbacca.
Scene 7: Zarkon (as Darth Vader) is fighting Lotor (as Luke Skywalker) on the bridge over the garbage chute in the City in the Clouds.
Zarkon: Lotor. I am your father.
Lotor: I know that, you idiot! You think blue skin is a _naturally_ occurring phenomenon in humans?
Scene 8: Lotor, dressed as Leia, and Keith, dressed as Luke, are sitting on a log in the Endor forest. Lance is standing by the cameras, dressed as HanSolo.
Director: Okay, Lotor, you've just learned that Keith is your brother. You're now free to go pursue Lance. [Keith and Lotor look at each other]
Keith: You know...I've heard that incest isn't illegal on some planets.
Lotor: Really...Well, what are we waiting for?
Lance: Hey! What about me? When do _I_ get the guy? Lotor: Oh, you can come too. Haven't you ever heard of threesomes?
Scene 9: Keith is attempting to use the Jedi mind trick on Hunk.
Keith: You will let me pass.
Hunk: (shrugs) Okay. [Steps aside] Keith: (blinks) Oh. Thank you. [Goes in]
Hunk: (calling after him) Hey, you got any food?
Scene 10: Haggar (as Emperor Palptine) is sitting in the little egg shaped throne and talking to Lotor.
Lotor: So, how did you become an evil Empress anyway?
Haggar: Well, it was mostly a matter of finding weak minded fools and controlling them, really. Oddly enough, most Politicians don't have the intelligence and strength of mind to be any real resistance. Take your father, for example. [Pan over to show Zarkon crawling around on all fours and barking like a dog]
Scene 11: Zarkon as Vader, and Lotor as that lackey he had in the first movie (can't remember his name. Admiral something or other) looking at Keith.
Zarkon: The slash is strong in this one.
Scene 12: Keith, saying goodbye to Lance.
Keith: May the slash be with you!