Disclaimer: Voltron and all its characters are the property of World Events Productions. I'm just borrowing them, and I promise I'll try to return them mostly unharmed ^.^
The afternoon was beautiful and peaceful, as all the days had been on Arus since Lotor's last attack a week before. Keith, forced by Coran to get out of the control room and enjoy the afternoon, stood by a window in the rec room, gritting his teeth in frustration. 'Relaxation has never been one of my strong points,' he mused, watching the lake ripple slightly in the gentle afternoon breeze. 'I've never been so bored in my life.'
He briefly considered trying to sneak down to the Archives, but thought better of it almost immediately. He'd tried that once already, anxious for something to do, and had been chased out by Allura. She'd threatened him with dire consequences if he tried to sneak back in today.
From his vantage point he could see Hunk and Pidge down at the lake, teaching some of the village children to dive. 'Or trying,' he amended with a grin as Hunk slammed into the lake with a belly flop, sending a wave of water over the scattering children.
He considered going down to join them, then changed his mind. He really wasn't in the mood to deal with a flock of screaming kids today. He'd already been out for a long run and worked out in the gym. 'What am I supposed to do for the rest of the afternoon? I can't think of anything!' His eyes traveled back across the rec room, and he fought down a smile. 'Then again…'
Keith sighed dramatically and leaned against the window. Making his dark eyes as huge and sad as possible, he turned to watch his lover across the room. Lance, curled up on the couch with his long legs tucked underneath him, didn't even glance up from his book. Keith's expression darkened into a scowl at Lance's continued refusal to notice him. 'He's the one who always complains that I'm too caught up in work,' he thought with rising anger, 'and now he's too engrossed in some book to even look up!',/p>
Keith glared at the other man for a moment, then smiled darkly. 'So I'll just take a lesson from him and be so annoying he can't possibly concentrate.' Grabbing the remote for the movie console from Earth, Keith walked over and flopped down on the floor in front of Lance. He flipped on the tv and turned the sound up as loud as it would go, then leaned back and rested his head on Lance's knee.
Lance smiled down at him, then went immediately back to his book. Keith gave up and decided to make the best of it. He flipped until he found a good movie, then settled in more comfortably. Lance's fingers dropped down and began to massage his neck and run through his hair absently. Keith leaned into his hand like a cat, finally feeling the tension begin to drain away.
He'd started to drift off when Lance's fingers on his neck were suddenly replaced by his lips. As he unexpectedly bit down hard on a sensitive spot, Keith started violently awake and scrambled back. He took a deep breath and tried to will his pounding heart to slow. After he regained control, he turned on Lance with an angry glare. Lance's eyes were dancing with suppressed laughter, and Keith ran a hand through his hair in annoyance.
"I was watching the movie!" Keith sputtered, gesturing at the screen. Lance grinned and reached for the remote, flipping the tv back off. Keith's glare deepened. "Besides, you were ignoring me!" Keith felt his face flush as he realized how silly he sounded. "What are you reading that's so all-encompassing anyway?"
"You," Lance told him in a mock serious tone, "are nearly impossible to ignore, you know that?"
"I should hope so," Keith finally gave in and grinned back. "I put enough effort into it." Curious, he reached out and tilted the book in Lance's hands so he could see the cover. He blinked, but the cover refused to change. Looking concerned, he reached up and placed a hand over Lance's forehead. Lance swatted his hand away with a laugh. Keith shook his head. "Okay, I give up. Why are you sitting here reading a girl's romance novel?"
Lance looked back down at his hands, tracing the binding absently with a finger. "Allura's new maid, the one from Amphrose?" He paused until Keith nodded in recognition. "She gave it to me. She said something about getting the idea through my head-"
Keith's hand shot out and caught Lance's wrist before he could react. "She what?" he growled threateningly.
"Well, she was right." Lance's grin faded as Keith flinched, his grip tightening painfully on his arm. His face slightly pale, he slid off the couch onto the floor close to Keith. "No, Keith. You don't understand. I know what she meant, but…" He paused to pull Keith, who had been trying to stand up, back down. "Apparently the Amphrosens are pretty liberal."
"What are you talking about?"
"Here." Lance opened the book and scanned for a minute, then handed it to Keith. "Start here," he continued, pointing to a paragraph. Lance watched him for a moment as he started to read, then slid closer and ran his hand up Keith's back to the nape of his neck. When Keith shivered but didn't pull away, Lance relaxed.
"I don't think this is even possible," Keith said doubtfully, glancing up.
Lance grinned playfully. "You don't know unless you try, now do you?" Keith glanced at the book and back up. Lance kissed him on the cheek and sighed. "Where are you?" Keith pointed. "Keep going."
As Keith turned back to the book, Lance untucked his shirt, sliding his fingers over the taut muscles of his stomach and resumed kissing his neck teasingly. Keith closed his eyes and gasped. "Keep reading. You're not to the really interesting part yet," Lance whispered in his ear.
Keith didn't respond, but did open his eyes and turn the page. Lance watched with amusement as Keith's eyes widened. He smiled and crawled halfway over Keith's legs and began to unbutton his shirt. Keith, staring at the book with shocked fascination, reached down and pulled the clip out of Lance's hair, tangling his fingers at the nape of his neck.
As Lance worked at pulling off his shirt without knocking the book out of his hands, Keith shook him off absently and stared at the paragraphs in front of him wide-eyed. Finally, a wicked grin crossed his face. "It's worth a shot," he said, pulling Lance's face roughly back up to his with the hand tangled in his hair. He cut off his startled cry by kissing him hungrily.
They were both too involved to hear the door open a minute later.
Allura stretched stiff muscles as she climbed the stairs from the Archive to the main floor of the castle. The histories were enthralling and she often lost track of entire days as she searched through the old books for the key to the mystery that was Voltron. 'Hmm, I wonder what time it is?' She made her way down the main corridor of the castle, pausing for a moment in the observatory.
The late afternoon sunlight painted the landscape in golden overtones. The gardens spreading towards the lake were erupting with a multitude of brightly colored flowers, petals fully opened and turned towards the sun. Allura closed her eyes and breathed deeply, reveling in the warmth of the sun even through the thick glass of the blast-resistant windows that lined the hallway.
As she relaxed, her thoughts turned to one of her favorite subjects: Keith. With a smile she remembered chasing him out of the Archives a few hours earlier. She opened her eyes and shook her head. 'It's so beautiful outside. Why would he want to waste a day like this in the dusty basement-' She stopped and laughed as the irony of that thought hit her.
'We're just too alike, I guess.' She turned her attention back to the window. Everything was so peaceful, so quiet, much the way she remembered it from when she was a small child. The constant attacks that had plagued her world and her people for so long almost seemed like half-forgotten nightmare images in the light of this perfect day.
'And we have four certain space explorers and their enigmatic captain to thank for that,' she mused, her thoughts coming full-circle. She sighed. 'I should really get out of the castle for a while.' She smiled again as an idea began to take shape. 'I could go down to the village and check on the rebuilding process. It's part of my royal duties after all. I wonder if Keith would like to go horseback riding with me?'
Her mind filled with romantic daydreams about the remainder of the afternoon, Allura set off to find Keith. She felt confident that he'd agree; he was totally incapable of relaxing on his own. At least this would give him an excuse to enjoy the afternoon. 'And it will give me the opportunity to convince him I'm not just a pilot and princess, but a woman as well.'
She paused for a moment to consider where to begin her search. From this point in the hallway, she could see Hunk and Pidge with a group of children at the lake. She searched for a moment for a tall figure with unruly black hair, but saw no sign of him. 'All right, that leaves the control room, library, rec room, gym, or his bedroom. Coran won't let him near the control room, so that's out. Might as well start with the rec room and work my way down.'
She headed up the stairs and opened the door that separated the inhabited and official parts of the castle. As soon as the door opened, she was assaulted with loud sounds coming from the direction of the rec room. Allura rolled her eyes as the sounds separated into voices from a movie. 'That has to be Lance.' She shrugged. 'Maybe he's seen Keith.'
She headed down the hallway, relieved when the sound cut off in mid-sentence. That was promising. Keith would never tolerate the noise if he were in his room down the hall. Confident that Keith would now definitely want to escape the confines of the castle, Allura rounded the corner, pausing to fix her hair using her reflection in the window. Taking a deep breath and smiling brightly, she opened the door.
Glancing around the room, she froze with her hand still on the button in the hallway. For a few heartbeats her mind absolutely refused to accept the scene unfolding in front of her. There was no way Keith- her Keith- would be…
No. This was just not possible! Allura closed her eyes and shook her head, praying that she was hallucinating. 'Too much time spent in the Archives. Maybe I'm allergic to dust.' She opened her eyes.
The tableau remained unchanged. Tears stinging her eyes, she took her hand away and allowed the door to close. She stumbled down the hallway, finally collapsing onto a bench in a shadowed alcove. She bit back a helpless sob as the scene she had just witnessed played back through her mind, every nuance remembered with perfect clarity.
Keith had been siting on the floor, leaning back against the couch. He'd been holding tightly onto Lance with one arm, the other hand tangled in his hair, and they'd been kissing with a heated passion Allura was sure would burn her halfway across the room. As she'd watched, Keith had slid his hands down Lance's body to his hips, drawing him as close as possible. Lance's hands slid up Keith's chest under his unbuttoned shirt, and he'd whispered something she hadn't been able to hear. Keith had answered with a smile she'd seen only in her dreams and kissed him again. Neither one of them had so much as glanced at the door, as if they'd been so lost in their own world that they didn't know she was there. That was what had hurt the most of all.
Hearing the distinctive sound of the rec room door sliding open, she slid further back into the shadows of her hiding place. Their laughter and the affectionate shading to their voices cut her like a knife.
"Where are we going?" she heard Keith ask.
"My room. It's closer."
They came into view; Lance pulling Keith down the hallway, their hands firmly linked. Keith laughed softly and tugged Lance back to him. "No, right here's closer." His voice sounded husky and slightly breathless. Allura watched with horror as he wrapped his arms tightly around Lance's waist and kissed his neck. Lance gasped slightly and threw his head back, leaning against the wall for support.
After a moment, he pushed Keith back and took a step away, shaking his head as if to clear it. "No, Keith, we can't do this. We're going to get caught."
"I don't care. And besides, by whom? Hunk and Pidge are outside, Coran's in the control room, Allura's in the Archives, and no one else is up here at this time of day."
Lance shot him a totally helpless look.
Keith gave a long-suffering sigh. "Oh, all right." He snagged Lance's hand and started to drag him down the hallway.
"Keith!" Lance's exclamation was softened by his affectionate laughter.
Keith turned back with a happy grin. "Hey, you've been ignoring me all afternoon. I'm not planning on giving you a chance to change your mind. Now come on!" He suddenly took off at a run, pulling Lance behind him.
Allura faded back into the shadows as they passed her, closing her eyes. As their laughter faded behind them, Allura suddenly felt despair give way to anger. Lance had been ignoring him. Here she was, ready to give Keith anything he asked for, and yet he was forced to turn to someone else for attention because she was busy elsewhere. And that someone else wasn't even grateful enough to pay him the attention he deserved.
Lance was one of her closest friends, the one who would help her do things that went totally against her royal training. He should have understood how she felt about Keith. A true friend would back away, knowing how much Keith meant to her. Why was he doing this, then? Maybe he didn't know. Well, she would just have to tell him. And if that didn't work, there were always other options available. She was, after all, the leader of one of the most powerful planets in the Galaxy Alliance.
**************
As Keith lay quietly content beside his lover in the dimly lit room, he decided that maybe a day off had been exactly what he needed. 'And it was awfully kind of Lotor to oblige you, wasn't it?' Keith gave a guilty start at the directions his thoughts had taken.
Lance sighed and rolled over to face him, exasperation shining in his eyes. "You're feeling guilty about this, aren't you?"
Keith lowered his eyes to avoid giving away more than he absolutely had to. Lance was having none of it, though. He gently cupped Keith's face in his hands and tilted it until their eyes met. "Keith…" He stopped, unsure of how to continue.
"I can't help it," Keith answered miserably. "I can't. There's just so much I could have done…" The pained look in Lance's eyes made him stop short. "Lance?"
Lance didn't answer him. After a moment, he pulled away and sat up. "I don't know about you, but I'm starving. Why don't we go and see if there's any dinner left?"
Keith closed his eyes. He could plan missions and defense, make speeches before councils. Why couldn't he make Lance understand how he felt at times like this? With renewed determination, he sat up and watched his lover's tight profile. He was not going to let it go, this time. He grasped Lance's shoulders and pulled him back down into his embrace, surprised that Lance didn't fight him. Instead, Lance curled up closer to him, burying his face in Keith's neck. Keith tightened his arms, trying to think of how to explain what he felt.
"Keith-"
"No, Lance. I want you to understand." Lance pulled back and looked at him in surprise, his eyes suspiciously shiny. Keith felt a twinge through his chest. 'Damn it, Keith. You always manage to upset him like this.' He took a deep breath. "It's just… I don't know. I get so caught up in the war sometimes that I can't remember what peace is like. The fight becomes so important that I lose track of what I'm fighting for."
Lance considered that for a moment. "What are you fighting for?"
Keith lay back and looked at the ceiling. "Peace." He chuckled and shook his head. "It seems so ironic, doesn't it? To be fighting for peace?" He sobered again. "But it is true. And it's so important that I feel like all my waking hours should be spent working for it."
He stopped to wait for Lance to say something, anything. After a moment of silence, he turned his head and felt his heart shatter. Lance was staring at the wall away from him, tears sliding silently down his face. He gently brushed his hand across Lance's cheek. Lance flinched and drew back to the far side of the bed. His expression was angry when he turned back to Keith.
"Then what am I, Keith? Just a body you use to relieve the tension when it becomes too much?" His face twisted as he spat out the words.
Keith's face paled and he reached out a hand beseechingly. "No, Lance, you don't understand." Lance turned to look at him, and Keith felt his voice freeze in his throat. Finally, he managed to choke out a whisper. "You're the only thing that keeps me sane." Lance pinned Keith with that odd gaze that Keith always felt was searching his soul. After a long, drawn-out moment, Lance finally released his eyes and relaxed slightly.
"What do you mean?" Lance asked him, staring at his hands.
Keith felt relief flood through him. He slid a little closer to Lance, uttering a silent prayer that he could explain. "Lance, if it wasn't for you, I'd be dead." Lance looked back up, and Keith forced himself to meet his eyes. "You're the one who makes me relax, makes me take care of myself. You give me a focus other than the war, make me see that there's life beyond it." He smiled slightly. "Oh, everyone else yells at me, true. They even force me to take days off. But you're the only person I could imagine spending that time with. The only time I can ever relax and be myself is with you."
Lance continued to watch him silently, biting his lip as new tears fell silently down his cheeks. Keith reached out a hand to brush them away again, and this time Lance didn't stop him. "I love you, Lance," he whispered.
"I love you too," Lance whispered back in a choked voice as Keith pulled him back into his arms.
"I know." Keith kissed him on the cheek and ran a soothing hand through his tousled hair. His arms tightened. "And don't ever let me hear you say I'm just using you for sex again, okay?"
Lance smiled slightly and tightened his hold on Keith.
Grinning, Keith leaned back and kissed him on the nose. "That's just a really great fringe benefit." He relaxed tense muscles as Lance actually laughed and settled into a more comfortable position.
After a moment of silence, Lance sat up slightly. "Keith?"
"Yeah?"
"I was serious about being hungry."
Keith laughed and pulled him back down. "In a little bit. I'm not ready to let you go yet."
Lance kissed him on the cheek and curled up with his head on Keith's chest. "I was kind of hoping you'd say that, actually."
Keith rolled his eyes, but wisely chose to stay silent. Instead, he ran a caressing hand over Lance's back until his breathing deepened into the steady pattern of sleep. Keith knew he wouldn't stay asleep for long; he was just emotionally exhausted. Lying in the quiet room, with the warmth of his lover's body curled up against him, Keith finally totally relaxed. 'This,' he thought to himself, 'this is what I'm fighting for.'
Allura sat alone in her room, pushing untasted food around the plate with her fork. After she had finally overcome her shock enough to leave the shadowed alcove in the hallway, she had been hit with an overwhelming urge to escape the confines of the castle. She'd saddled one of the fastest stallions in the stable and had taken the trails through the woods west of the castle at breakneck speed. When it became too dark to see, she'd slowed the stallion to a slow walk and had meandered aimlessly under the stars, her thoughts just as disorganized and aimless.
Finally called back to the present by the persistent beeping of her communicator, she headed back to the castle. Overcome by lethargy brought on by shock, she'd let her maids take her to her rooms and prepare a bath. After she'd changed into the clean nightclothes left out for her, her attention had turned to the plate of food left by the frantic maids. Now she sat mechanically toying with the food, trying to force her thoughts into some kind of coherent order.
"I could give him anything," she told herself. "Why would he turn to Lance, of all people?" She shook her head in confusion. "Why would Lance…" She stopped to consider. Maybe out of a sense of duty? She had no idea, really, of the kind of training they'd received at the Academy. It was possible that using someone to relieve the tension caused by command was entirely normal, although Allura's small knowledge of military procedure suggested otherwise. "And if he just needed someone, why Lance? Why not me?"
Suddenly she smiled. Of course! Keith had chosen to use Lance this way because he cared about her too much. She was too important to him to be used for anything. When he finally was able to let himself touch her the way he'd been touching Lance, it would be tender and gentle. Definitely not with the aggressive passion she'd seen in the way he'd pulled Lance closer to him… She felt her anger rise as at the image her thoughts called to mind. She had to pick a time to speak to Lance carefully; sometime when there was no danger they'd be interrupted. Lance would understand. Keith was hers.