Standard disclaimers apply. [For the full disclaimer, see the end of part 2]

Allura: Goose! [reaches out and pinches Keith's butt]

Keith: Allura no hentai! [pulls out a wooden mallet and smashes her. Glares at the rest of the team] I have PMS. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

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Lance: [mumbling] It keeps bleeding, and bleeding, and bleeding and it doesn't die. How can you trust anything that bleeds and doesn't die?

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[Backstage, Keith in male form. Lotor has a setzer bottle. He sprays Keith.]

Keith: Lotor! You're a dead man! [Runs towards Lotor]

Lotor: (eyes wide) Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy...

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Lotor: Quickly, Haggar, fetch me the magic water!

Haggar: Right away my lord...Er, do you mean the _magic_ magic water, or the beer?

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Director: Magic water, take two.

Lotor: Quickly, Haggar, fetch me that water!

Haggar: Sorry, my lord, but I just used up the last of it. [Splashes self with cold water. Turns into buxom, young, blond female. Allura's eyes bug out]

Allura: Hubba, hubba! Haggar, come, let me take you away from here!

Haggar: All right. [Allura sweeps Haggar up and exits dramatically]

Lotor: Well _that_ sucked.

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Director: Has anybody seen Ranma, or Lance, or Ryouga, or Keith?

Hunk: I think I saw Ranma and Lance and Ryouga dissapear into the green room.

Pidge: And then Keith went storming after them in shouting something about how he was going to kill them all. [pause] I don't think his hormones are agreeing with him.

Director: Oh. [Leans back and shouts in direction of green room] You kill them, you clean up the mess! Right. Now, in this scene...

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Scene: Inside the Castle of Lions.

Lance: Damned women drivers.

Director: Cue Voice Over.

VO: The words 'fuck yourself were in his eyes, but he would not say them-

Keith: Oh go fuck yourself.

Director: You're not supposed to say that!

Keith: Oh. Sorry.

Director: Never mind. Keep going, voice over.

VO: Instead, he only stared at Lance, just long enough to shrivel his testicles with frost and drive his penis back up into his body cavity in a mad quest for warmth and survival.

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Director: Great job everyone. Now go home. [Keith and Lance start walking away]

Lance: You know, I don't think I've ever seen him so happy. You could commit murder and not end up on his black list.

Keith: (specutively) Really?

Lance (nervously): That doesn't mean you get a free kill, you know.

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Okay, that was my lame add on. I, unfortunately, can't take credit for the 'fuck yourself' line. That comes from a book, "Killing Critics" by Carol O'Connell, to be precise. Hope you enjoyed.

-Todesengel.