The moment had been a long time in coming.
Years spent in breathless anticipation of the sort that makes shivers run down one's spine and every long drawn out moment seem the absolute worst in unbearable longing and agony. Years spent waiting for the perfect moment. Years spent waiting for me to finally reach adulthood and the legal age of consent in at least some of the less picky countries.
Finally it had arrived, that moment so long yearned for through years of meaningful glances and the barest of silken caresses. Can any moment so long imagined ever bear up under the brunt of the heavy weight of reality?
You roll over in your sleep and wrap a heavy arm around my waist, and I barely suppress the shudders as I stare in shock at the plain white of your bedroom wall.
Apparently the answer is no.
Oh sure, maybe some of the fault is mine. Maybe my expectations have become slightly jaded after long afternoons spent with Keith or Lance, or both at once. Even sometimes with both of them and Sven, like that one fateful night when Allura and Romelle decided to sell gay porn on the Arusian black market to bolster the wartime economy. I still get chills down my spine when one hand reaches under my pillow and brushes the black leather dildo with the metal studded handle I stole from production as a keepsake.
Did you know that all those extra missiles and parts for the lions are amazingly expensive? Not to mention the price of continuously reconstructing all those houses and farms.
Regardless, maybe I spent my spare time being a wee bit too active in the alternative recreation department. Or maybe you didn't spend enough. Years of dreaming and hoping, years of just knowing deep down that we were the perfect couple, the couple destined to be together long after Lance left Keith for a male flight attendant/Chippendale-wannabe and Keith was forced to move in with Romelle and Sven to keep the old marriage fires burning. Long after any of that there would be us.
Perfection.
Only it's not, is it? There's something missing, some spark that I always took for granted. I think I could even take the devoted light of love burning in your eyes as you looked at me, possibly even return it, if only it could be tempered with the burning flame of passion.
Or at least a reasonable facsimile thereof. Hell, there's a dungeon below the castle. I think I could learn to adjust.
Maybe it's the timing that's wrong. I should go away, leave you for a while so that you can run wild through the Arusian night with all it has to offer. I can't believe you've spent misguided years waiting so chastely for me. It would be sweet if I was someone else, someone not accustomed to the ever-changing world of domination and submission. If I could have just stayed the way I was when you first met me, all those years ago, we could have been perfect.
I'm not, though. Things change, and I'll just have to give you time to get caught up with the program. I'll go away for a while, maybe see some more of the universe with Lance and dancer-boy, then catch up with everyone on Pollux. Sven mentioned needing a new house boy in his last letter, now that Bandor's too busy playing King to take his other duties very seriously.
Maybe then, after a couple of more years of longing, we'll be able to work things out.
Maybe then we can be perfect.
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